The Many Shapes of Love (And Why They Matter for Happiness)
When we hear the word love, it’s easy to think first of romantic relationships: flowers, cards, and Valentine’s Day traditions. Romantic love can be meaningful and beautiful, but it’s only one piece of a much bigger picture. Love shows up in many shapes throughout our lives, and each one plays an important role in our happiness.
As Valentine’s Day approaches, it’s a perfect time to zoom out and appreciate love in all its forms: friendship, family, community, and even the relationship we have with ourselves.
Friendship: Chosen Love
Friendship is often the quiet, steady kind of love that doesn’t always get enough credit. Friends celebrate our wins, listen when we need to vent, and remind us who we are when we forget. Unlike family, friends are people we choose, and who choose us back.
Strong friendships boost happiness and well-being. Research shows that valuing friendships is linked to better physical and emotional health and overall happiness. These relationships help reduce feelings of loneliness, buffer stress, and make us feel like we fit in. Even one or two meaningful friendships can make a big difference, reminding us that we don’t have to get through life alone.
Family: Rooted Love
Family love can look many different ways. For some, it’s the family they were born into. For others, it’s a chosen family built over time. Family relationships can be supportive, complicated, imperfect, or deeply comforting (and sometimes all at once).
At its best, family offers stability and connection. These are often the people who know our history, our quirks, and our growth over time. While family relationships can require patience and boundaries, they can also offer emotional support and a sense of belonging.
Community: Shared Love
Love isn’t limited to close relationships. It thrives in communities: neighbors who check in, coworkers who support each other, volunteers who give their time, and groups united by shared values or interests.
Feeling connected to a community increases happiness by helping us feel seen and supported. It reminds us that we are part of something bigger. Even small moments. like a friendly conversation or shared laugh, can strengthen these bonds and add warmth to daily life.
Self-Love: Foundational Love
Self-love is sometimes misunderstood as selfish or indulgent, but it’s actually foundational. The way we talk to ourselves, care for our needs, and set boundaries shapes every other relationship in our lives.
Practicing self-love doesn’t mean feeling confident all the time. It means treating yourself with kindness, especially on hard days. It means rest, forgiveness, and recognizing your worth even when life isn’t perfect. When we nurture a healthier relationship with ourselves, we’re better able to give and receive love from others.
Why All of It Matters
Happiness isn’t built on just one type of love. It’s the combination of many connections, some deep, some light, some lasting, some seasonal, that create a full and meaningful life.
As Valentine’s Day arrives, it can be helpful to expand what we celebrate. Love isn’t limited to couples or romantic gestures. It’s found in friendships that feel like home, in families who support us, in communities that connect us, and in the compassion we offer ourselves.
When we recognize and nurture the many shapes of love in our lives, we create more opportunities for happiness—not just on one day a year, but every day.
Happiness Posts is published by Darin M. Klemchuk founder of Klemchuk PLLC, an intellectual property law firm located in Dallas, Texas and co-founder of Engage Workspace for Lawyers, a coworking space for lawyers. He also publishes the Ideate (law) and Elevate (law firm culture) blogs. You can find more information about his law practice at his firm bio and also at his BioSite.
